What to expect in family mediation and how to get prepared.
If you’re considering mediation, you might be feeling unsure about how it works — or worried it will be confronting, confusing, or expensive.
This guide explains the mediation process in plain English, so you can understand what happens, what you’ll be asked to do, and what your options are. You don’t need to have everything figured out to get started.
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What is mediation?
Family mediation is a supported process that helps people have difficult conversations and make practical agreements, most commonly after separation or divorce.
Mediation is facilitated by an independent, accredited professional (Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner). The mediator doesn’t take sides and doesn’t make decisions for you. Their role is to provide structure, keep the conversation safe and respectful, and help you work through issues in a way that’s focused and workable.
For many families, mediation is a way to move forward with more clarity, and without handing decisions over to a court.
What can family mediation help with?
Family mediation is often used to work through:
parenting arrangements (including routines, communication, decision-making and changeovers)
It’s designed to help you focus on decisions and next steps — even when emotions are high or communication has been difficult.
What is the family mediation process?
While every situation is different, family mediation usually follows three stages.
1) Individual meetings (separate)
Before any joint mediation session, each person meets privately with the mediator (online or in person).
These meetings give you space to:
explain what’s happening and what matters to you
identify the issues that need to be resolved
ask questions about the process and fees
discuss any safety concerns or circumstances that affect how mediation should run
The mediator uses this stage to make sure mediation is appropriate and to set the structure for the next step.
2) The mediation session (joint or shuttle)
If mediation is suitable, a session is scheduled.
There are two common formats:
Joint mediation: you’re both in the same room (or the same online meeting)
Shuttle mediation: you remain separate and the mediator moves between you
Shuttle mediation can be helpful when face-to-face conversation is unlikely to be productive, or where additional structure is needed.
3) Recording outcomes and next steps
If you reach agreement, outcomes can be documented and you can then decide whether to formalise them with legal advice.
If you don’t reach agreement on everything, mediation can still be valuable — it often clarifies what’s in dispute, narrows the issues, and helps identify next steps.
For parenting matters, a mediator may be able to issue a Section 60I certificate where appropriate. This is something we’ll explain clearly in context.
What happens in the first family mediation session?
People often ask whether the session will feel confrontational. In a well-run mediation process, the aim is the opposite: a structured conversation where both people have the opportunity to be heard and to work through options.
In a typical session you can expect:
a clear explanation of how the session will run
time to identify the issues that need to be resolved
support to work through one topic at a time
breaks if needed
no pressure to agree to anything on the spot
How should I prepare for the first family mediation session?
You don’t need to prepare extensively. Most people find it helpful to arrive with some clarity on:
what decisions need to be made
what matters most (and why)
what a workable outcome could look like in the real world
If your mediation involves property and finances, gathering basic documents can help — and we’ll tell you what’s useful.
Do I need a lawyer for family mediation?
You can get independent legal advice at any stage.
Some people prefer to speak with a lawyer before mediation. Others wait until after the initial meeting, once the issues are clearer and they know what advice they need. Either approach is completely fine.
If you’d like, we can refer you to trusted professionals and you’re always free to choose your own adviser.
Important note: This article provides general information only and is not legal advice. Family Dispute Resolution Practitioners and mediators do not provide legal advice and do not tell you what decisions to make.
Get the printable guide
Prefer a copy you can save or read later? We can email you the printable PDF version of this guide, including a preparation checklist and the most common questions people ask before their first session.
We respect your privacy. Unsubscribe anytime.
